One day these teens will grow up and move out, they’ll be leaving the nest, as they say. We know it’s coming, we prepare for it. We try to enjoy all of those “lasts” as they pile up. But the time comes for them to move on before we know it.

And sometimes it comes faster than we had planned. My oldest ended up needing to move up to college in the summer before the start of his freshman year. I was beyond excited for him…but I knew this meant that things would always be different from this point forward. He would be forever coming “back home” or “going to his parent’s house”.

In the years since he’s been in college we’ve moved him in and out of the dorms, into a temporary situation after covid and then finally into the spot he’s settled into for the past couple years in his little town.

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leaving looks different for everyone

Sometimes your kids do the college thing…and other times they do something different (also…we should be better about simply asking what college seniors are going to after graduation, not everyone goes that route and that’s more than ok. Let’s start asking what plans they have after school…see how their face lights up when they start telling you the fun things they have planned). Just as you would celebrate and take photos of sending your kid off to college, make sure that you’re documenting these other first steps too.

We’ve love watching and being a part of her adventures. Seeing your child bloom in their happy place is truly the most amazing thing.

Then…the last one. It really doesn’t matter how many you’ve helped leave the nest, they each are like a punch to the gut. You honestly think you’re ready…and then you’re just not. This one is still fresh…just a few months. We’re adjusting and the morning phone calls help a ton.

 

tips + tricks for documenting leaving the nest

1. Don’t hide from the “lasts”, celebrate these moments, feel the sad and the excitement. At least try 🙂 Take the photo, even when it hurts.
2. Be sneaky with your photos if you have to, you’ll be glad you got the photo and likely they will be too. Enlist others to help (the photo my son’s girlfriend got of our last hug before we drove away is one of my very favorites, see above).
3. Photos of their things as they pack them up, those last shopping trips to make sure they have everything, loading the car…it’s all a part of the story.
4. Capture their new environment, their things in their new space, little details and the overall scene. Images of them in their new space.
5. Take more photos than you think you need. Seems silly to take a photo of your daughter’s stuffed animal in a box? It’s not.

I make sure to take every opportunity I can find to get images of the three of them together when I have the chance. Our days look different and the times that we’re together as a family of five are few and far between these days. Sometimes we’ve got one home, or maybe two. But time with all three is getting harder to find. The first years I always had such high expectations when we were together, trying to squeeze everything in…now I just focus on time. If we’re in the same house – that’s a win. If I get a hug after a quick 15 minute visit – I take it and treasure it. Take the pressure off your kids (and yourself) and just enjoy the time.

 

And also…since they’ve started spreading their wings I’ve realized even more how important it is to get photos of the parents with the kids too. Forget about the 15 pounds you’d like to lose, forget about the fact that you “don’t love being in front of the camera” and take the photo. You and your kids will be grateful. I promise. It also gets easier the more you do it 🙂 And if a kid asks for a photo – ALWAYS say yes. Always.

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a note about those lasts

I saw a post recently from a parent of a new senior asking for advice…what not to miss, what was ok to miss. General advice and all of that. From many people the message was NOT to focus on the “lasts”, don’t bring on the sadness, that we should celebrate more than ruminate. I respectfully disagree. These “lasts” are just as important as those “firsts” were in my opinion. Honor where we are, where we’ve been and where we’re going. I wanted my kids to know that I loved these moments for them. That I will miss them…and that I am so excited and proud of them. WE CAN EXIST IN THE AND. Sad and excited. Lonely for our kids and excited to be on our own. But maybe don’t go into their room right after dropping them off on their next adventure. That stings a bit.

Sometimes they move out and leave the nest…and sometimes they come back. It’s a great big step for them and for you and documenting those big and little moments is important to your story and to theirs. Do you remember leaving the nest? What do those memories look like for you? What do they look like for your parents?

Have you read all of the other posts in this series
about documenting your teen?
Check them out below!

1. Documenting Everyday Life With Your Teen – the hows and whys of photographing your teens
2. Getting Your Teen on Your Side – how to get images of your teen that even they will agree to
3. What to Document About Your Teen – not sure what photos to take? Here are some great ideas!
4. Tools to Use to Document Your Teen – remember, the best camera is the one you have with you
5. The Same Stuff Everyday With Your Teen – feeling like you do the same thing everyday? Let’s get creative!
6. Right Now With Teens – stop, take a photo of what you’re doing with your teen right now
7. A Day In the Life With Teens – don’t forget to take photos of the seemingly mundane moments, that’s where the magic is
8. Bring Them Along – take those teens with you when you’re out and about running errands, who knows…they might enjoy it
9. The Hard Moments – be gentle…but get the shot if you can
10. Leaving The Nest – here we are…now what?

Happy Documenting, and remember….if you think you should take a photo of it, do it.
xo,
c